once upon a time there was a young boy who would serve to be the catalyst for the next social revolution. he died before he came of age, however, so no revolution took place - even death has a bit of a sense of humour. whenever this tragic event befell the town, in protest of never-fulfilled propheses, all of the religious literature that was in existence (well, in the town), was burned to cinders. this turned out to be a bad choice, because the other day God descended upon the village and heard the villagers making comments about his non-existence. mighty pissed off, he challenged the town to a religious-knowledge quiz. because this was God, they had nothing to do but accept, so the next day the town gathered in the town square to have an info battle with God. the bad news was that they had burned all of their books, and God was letting it be an open-note quiz. sadly enough, with their very salvation being the one link to how well they did on this test, they were doomed to failure. suddenly the town elder had the great idea of making contact with their dead relatives, who would probably have religious literature in the afterlife, and getting all of the answers from them. in the afterlife, however, submission to God is not only suggested, it is definitely mandatory - so when the elder made contact, his relatives immediately ratted him out. God then proceeded to destroy everything in the town, because no one had scored higher than a 01 or 02, whereas, like the AP tests, passing was 03, 04, or 05. but then, out of nowhere, God's father came down. "God! wtf do you think you're doing?!" he scolded him. the townspeople were amazed, for they didn't know God had a father. God didn't, either. "who're you!" God shouted at the big bright light that was his father. "i'm your dad, you ungrateful bastard!" God's dad yelled. "and you're about to get the beating of a lifetime!" God's dad then took God up into the heavens and cut off his feet, and then his feet fell to the earth and sprouted a grove of trees that is filled with goodness and love. some people didn't like goodness and love, however, so they formed a magazine called the catalyst.