I thought things were going well between us, i really did... but every once in awhile little thoughts would creep into my mind from here or there... there weren't many at first, and they'd always go away very quickly - i'd MAKE them go away quickly if they didn't want to, but now there's more and more and more and they just don't want to go away. I don't know what i'm supposed to do or what i'm even trying to solve with this letter, but it's the only thing that I felt I could do... I really thought I should let you know, just so anything in the future isn't a suprise or anything, because i really DO care about you, I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't. Even after everything we've been through together, I can't tell how much of that was really "us" instead of simply "you" and "me" both being there... and the whole l-word... I don't know if i really meant what I said or if I was just caught up in those moments or if I really meant it... but I know now that i couldn't say it without feeling regret. I'm sure you've noticed I've changed lately - I didn't mean to, I don't want to hurt you - but sometimes change is inevitable. I wanted to protect you as long as I could from this, but last night I realized that the longer I pull you along like this the worse it will be when you're finally set free... so goodbye, Paris... I'll always remember you.....

Helen