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Soma | somabusparlkzx

After breaking out of the government-sponsored laboratory he was raised in, Soma took to the streets of New York to learn all there was to learn about this world. Following short stints as a pimp and a heroin dealer, Soma quickly became disillusioned with the world chemical engineering had brought him into. Escaping into Europe, Soma would later produce such famous works as The Sun Also Rises and The Great Gatsby, along with co-writing the Broadway musical Cats. Soma is now 13 and living in a small town in southern Italy.

Katie B | GordonChik

Katie B was born without a last name or a soul. She may or may not be a marauding pirate captain. She would, in all likelihood, kill you if she had the chance.

Mark Thyrring | SirCoolington

Mom and Dad accidentally added an extra ingredient! Chemical Mark!

Megan Wood | jinxx remover

Megan Wood is almost as sorry as Bri, but not quite. She also is desperate for a date. Will you please go on a date with her?

Zaben | MrMcGimp

what is up, dawgs?

Brendan Fitzgerald | MagPlaid66

Locked in a neverending quest for his Nick Carraway.

Bri | Briosaurus Rocks

Bri is sorry. She really is.

The Queen of England | ????????

Real Name: Unknown
Origin: Unknown
Date of Birth: Unknown
Marital Status: Unknown

Eric Marth and Harsh Patel
???? | TeenageExplosion

Take form of... gorilla! and... bucket of water!

Peter | IMetIronChefKobe

If you give it to me, chances are I will put it into my mouth. Chiles, staples, waterguns, and even many members of the animal kingdom would feel the pressure of my minty-fresh incisors should they be placed into my hands by you.

Hy the 13 year old boy
???????? | ???????????

Hy is unaware that he`s a firedrill writer. muahahaha!

D. Brandao | ????????

Just a mild manner Geat, looking for his Wealhtheow!

Cecca | cecca84

A high-born lady of quality, Cecca fell from grace and now has decayed into a writer for a 2nd-rate ?ber knockoff that can`t even beat the storm leve of Ninja Gaiden. But I guess that`s cool.

Mike Hernandez
??? | ???

Turn Ons: dolphins, long walks on the beach

Turn Offs: grossness, icky things

Johann Patlak | Patlak Project

Johann Patlak hates indie kids so much. Almost as much as he hates emo kids. He wants to crush their collective whiny heads, but has yet to devise a literarily witty and grammatically flawless way to accomplish this.

?????? | ??????

kay is on a really big mission, and only really big vitamins can stop her.