FIREDRILL!

Monday, December 9, 2002Front   Archives   Writers   List   Submit

Hey Look It's Yesterday... Today!
Soma

This is amazing! I've suddenly travelled back in time to Monday December 9th from Tuesday December 10th!

All without a DeLorean!

Just think - if i knew anything about sports, I could be rich! Same goes for incredibly quick and large changes on the stock market. If it happened to be Black Wednesday, I'd get off scott free!

I am able to do this time travelling due to a little thing I like to call "raisin bran."

How do i accomplish it through "raisin bran," you ask?

Well, to tell you the truth, I submit a story, look over at a bag of Raisin Bran I stole from the dining hall, and then I got into the MySQL database and change the date this was submitted. So really I'm just a lying jerk.

My time travel does not rely on raisins, my time travel does not rely on bran. My time travel relies solely on the fact that you, the suseptible public, will believe anything that is on the internet that is dated.

Would you believe firedrill was from the 1400s if I put that up at the top of the page? You say you wouldn't. What if I added a reference to some Queens or perhaps Columbus? I'm pretty sure you'd fall for it then. No one can resist the combined power of explorers and royalty.

Especially not the native peoples of many nations and continents, who we totally decimated through mercantialist and blindly nationalistic actions billions of years ago! Except we haven't done that nearly as much as old-school England did (percentage-wise) and people haven't existed for billions of years, so that part is a lie, too. But sometimes it takes a little exaggeration to get your point across.

FIREDRILL GOT ZERO HITS YESTERDAY AND EVERYTHING THAT IS ON IT IS REALLY STUPID CRAP WRITTEN BY ME!!!!!

That's exaggeration, but it might as well be true. Stay tuned for a total lack of future updates!


Soma locks and loads for tomorrow.